While the Internet has made our lives easier in countless ways, given the public more access to information than ever before and provided endless hours of entertainment, it also has a dark side.
I’m not talking about online predators lurking, waiting for their next victims. I’m not even talking about cyberbullying — well, not really.
I’m talking about the negativity that can bombard us as we’re surfing the Web; from nasty comments on news stories to critical Facebook posts to mean-spirited memes, it sometimes seems like it’s everywhere.
The good news is that Real Simple magazine has declared this week Be Nice on the Internet Week. Maybe it sounds a little silly, but I’m on board with the magazine's “down with rudeness on the Web” campaign.
You’ve probably heard them a thousand times — sayings like, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” or “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
And there’s a reason why those clichés get repeated over and over, as far as I’m concerned. It’s because they’re true. Sure, there’s such a thing as being too nice, but most of the time, nastiness and negativity add nothing to the conversation. In fact, snippy posts and personal attacks can ruin a good discussion and devolve into useless name calling.
If you’ve ever looked at the Patch terms of use — and if you’re a regular reader or commenter, I hope you have — they do a pretty good job of outlining online etiquette:
Communities thrive when people care about each other, and as such, Patch expects all of its users to be respectful of others. … While we encourage people to be honest and post what’s on their mind, there are some types of Content that we simply can’t allow on Patch. … You might boil it down to three main policies: “Keep it clean,” “Don’t try to trick people,” and “Treat others as you’d like to be treated.” Easy, right?
Anonymous or not?
In a similar vein, last year, a Slate columnist made a case against online anonymity, saying it encourages bad behavior:
Anonymity has long been hailed as one of the founding philosophies of the Internet, a critical bulwark protecting our privacy. But that view no longer holds. In all but the most extreme scenarios—everywhere outside of repressive governments—anonymity damages online communities. Letting people remain anonymous while engaging in fundamentally public behavior encourages them to behave badly.
While there are some legitimate reasons for maintaining anonymity on the Internet, when it comes to commenting, I don’t think it’s always a good thing. In fact, I think it’s usually not — and it’s one of the reasons Patch asks users to register with their full first and last names and no aliases. It’s practically impossible to enforce, but the rule is there for a reason: Because people are much more likely to say nasty, petty, mean-spirited things when they can hide behind the cloak of anonymity.
If you knew your friends and family — not to mention your coworkers or even your boss — would be able to see something nasty you’d written, would you still write it? Just like in “real life,” it’s good to remember that words can hurt, and there’s nothing constructive about making a personal attack or being insulting or just plain mean. And it doesn't reflect well on you, either.
A Patch columnist in Maine makes a good point about deciding what to post online, whether you’re commenting on a news story, posting on Facebook or sending an email. Before hitting “send,” there are a few questions we should ask ourselves:
- Would I say this in front of my mother?
- Would I say this in front of my kids?
- Would I want someone to say this to my face exactly like this?
I might even add another: "Would I say this to this person's face?" If the answer to any of those questions is “No,” it might be wise to step away from the keyboard, or find a more constructive way to express your opinion.
It’s Be Nice on the Internet Week. So what do you think: